Alan Sondheim -- Corpus of the Beginning of the Internet Text

Corpus of the Beginning of the Internet Text text 0      zero internet - preliminary is a meditation on philosophy, psychology, poli- tical economy, psychoanalytics (computer) communica- tion. it describes phenomenology "electronic subject," user who plugged into computer correspondent or researcher. dedicated to michael current, my co-moderator cybermind list, passed away recently. divided eight labeled net1-8; sections are also given following titles: net1: text, approx. 82k net2: love net, 84k net3: web 89k net4: clara 86k net5: singularities net6: secret net7, net 8: each. first three texts form core volume; forms volume. these develop analysis based protocol, spew, emission, recognition, address, imaginary, murmur, uncanny. should be read order; only section traditional form, however. (it returned continuous rewrite itself others.) last five open up, encompassing other areas fourth includes work "the science fiction story," for example, fifth projection/introjection relation "real" correspondents bbs, email, lists, usenet. parts final deal with death, hacking, "stuttering" communication. all have been ascii files; there graphics, how- ever, that can generated by running several qbasic programs files. i envision single work. style difficult times, format changes radically from one another. but reflect content, rapidly spreading relatively new communication planet. (incidentally, much applies telephony well.) reader self-generating, if were inner voice. what am attempting new; bear texts, they will prove rewarding. keywords: connect: electronic subject, grain, exhausiton, obdurate, uncanny, projection/introjection, _chora_, devouring, liquidity, bridge, pipeline, node, transitivity, gesture, inversion. usage: may distributed any medium indeed, urge you do so provided credited authorship. would appreciate return comments have. also, some recommendations: list world.std.com (write majordomo@world.std.com include body message: subscribe <your email address> fiction-of-philosophy louis althusser: future lasts forever mark poster: mode information guido ceronetti, silence alphonso lingis, excesses community those nothing common terry winograd fernando flores: understanding computers cognition paul virilio, war cinema avital ronell, telephone book merlin donald, origins modern mind julia kristeva, revolution poetic language verena conley, rethinking technologies perforations magazine (contact zeug@pd.org) benedikt, cyberspace sondheim, disorders real (shameless plug) pierre bourdieu, invitation reflexive sociology michel serres, parasite (and anything else get!) p.j. harvey (music) ====================================================================== 432 dean st., brooklyn, ny, 11217 tel. 718-857-3671 iiiiiiii ttttttttttrrrrrrn eeeeeettttttttt sondheim@newschool.edu iiin t ee rr rnn tttiii n rnnn eeeeeerrrrrrnnnn eeeeeee tttextnt tt nnnn tteee rrn nnnnneeeeee copyright 2007 internet.txt:terminal.echo:nipple:portia:honey:stutter:spew:global:thread death:lol:nove:dir*.txt -------------------------- whole years ago, gave lecture ontario college art, which interaction described production program space. space characterized absolute control; responds one-to-one basis input. enters command, either command carried out, various errors occur. games carry this step farther game deliberately _do,_ creating sense dominated environment. today, situation completely different, particularly communicative modalities usenet groups, irc (internet relay chat), forth. within next years, least seventy-five million users on-line, grows, becomes leaky, ungainly, noisy. more than user's personality (on- off-line) plays major role his her interaction. hand, machine interface still determines great extent nature interaction; other, tendency (want to) "see past" machinery, heart other. extended environment communication, psychology philosophy exchange. such, concerned primarily virtual subjectivity simultaneous presence absence user, sorts libidinal projections result, flamewars, ontological epistemological issues underlie processes. begins brief, almost corrosive, account subject concepts recognition. "reduces" packets information, sputterings, ontology self otherness _your_ recognition me responsible net-presence. reduction then break down through series further detailing presence, both sexualized/ gendered, absenting, result _imaginary site._ "short-waves, long-waves." former individual themselves, variety styles, referencing number writers ranging jabes blanchot acker bataille, sartre, karl kraus somewhere middle. interrelated; occasion "characters" appear _actants,_ conveying certain psychological philosophical ideas beyond exposi- tory prose. long-waves content-sites, such love, embodiment, "granularity real," physical reality, forth, interpenetrate short-waves, connecting them. during writing current (now deceased) began conference, moderating has led serious considerations hackers, "free" tion, flaming, eventually, become clear every- thing revolves around _on_ very _elsewhere._ evolved perhaps dominant modes _being_ millennium. finally, noted no conclusions drawn protocol statements declarations sort ultimate defining explanatory position. entire history mitigates against this; instead, side schlegels, nietzsche, jabes, others, whom fragment crucial contemporary life... wish thank chris keep, robert withers their help encouragement. published perfor- ations crash (thread waxing space). hielo. index.txt internet.txt contains theorizing its relationship emerging dominate post-industrial world century briefly introduces order appear. presents overall theory midst inter- net. subtexts: file definition begin reiterative structure whole; exit continues this. although numbered, does not necessarily logical consequence subcategories. terminal echo precedes composition reflects same concerns. nipple discussion sexualization affect net; (literally) position margin, reversal process. ...portia... process guise fiction. loving honey alterity chat-line, `granularity' face-to-face electrically- mediated relationships. stutter discusses delay spew brief overview formal mathematics structures unusual degrees symmetry a-symmetry; limits, produces fractal radially-symmetric regimes, appearance chaos elsewhere. underlying symmetricizing operations useful thinking later texts. skipped over necessary. global paper public domain group, theor- izing identity technology. <> texts; continuing raised honey. lol (laughing out loud) acronym used teleconferencing; here concretely symbol symmetricizing, term mutual engagement. follows thread started nipple, portia, honey, others. carries mode, act composi- tion decomposition. death completes cooling down. <<supplementary texts: <<irresolution communications examines <<hysteria instantaneous. <<listing joanless transforms hallucinatory <<the face negation rl (real life). end world. <<an attempt induce sorcery construct <<inhabitation imaginary. <<honey i, inhabiting network fear elsewhere dying <<is thinning eternal myself. driver /inter/network use <<and hysteria again. <<joan.novel uncanny narratology denouement <<ellipsis murmuring memory. <<drg.txt addiction joan initial supplement, finality. <<<*when elders lose true position* is, reiteration, again <<<or once (moreover...) fantasm real. <<<user.txt clarifies users, addictions, drugs, articulations, truth, <<<in internet, text. <<<absolute pleasure impenetrable beauty tiffay, <<<ineffable sublime, ah lyotard... <<<the radical created alone, presences <<<of lovely, of... <<<note: vary slightly.>>> <<<<*web text*: separate table contents.>>>> 0. prolegomena: iterative internet. cultural categories highly problematic, life-form. instead protocol. essay, always preliminary, proceeds numbered paragraphs, rewrite. 1. membrane composed nodes, better considered intensifications. intensification possesses interactive emission. emission inputs/outputs, introjections/projections: -jectivity. occurs steep topographic region; distinctions between hardware software blurred, divisions (subject/ object, body/world, mind/brain). 2. fact, clearly replaced organic episteme; constitutes knowledge flow; data replaces history; sourceless. rather channels, consider geodesics; geodesics, forced flows; flows, emissions. 3. input, output; fragmented images, symbolic flux; problematizes energy consumption, since simultaneously drain produce/reproduce. chaotic vicinity unstable attractor; escaping, quickly loses history, historiography, temporality itself. close speed light, exists temporal 4. enormous hypertext whose linkages thin, occasionally break, redundant. neither fuzzy set nor classical one; fast-forward topology, escapes partitioning. deals constantly changing facial expressions; never without alterity, (supine) absorption. clouds me; ontologically, escaping denotation; thus related excess, surplus, curlicue dia- critical mark, absents these, absenting ignorance constructs waste-product; blindness site. 5. hold onto part body, sever part, construe re- devour it, tear surface off: searches skinned (which murmur memory pain), articulation truth one's own lost good search bondage, restrains absent itself, analog screen permissive occurs, going just far. antiquated materiality asserting inert fast-forward, assertion doomed displaced, sublimated, effaced; holds nothing; existentialism, projects forward nothingness (as alterity); hole, however, episteme broken replacing mirror stage; ego splatters (the cum-ego female male); already announces continuation; existentialist project indirect addresses. 6. addict "in midst"; projects; thwarted, appears discarded pornography; thrust pure longer beneath another pornography, capital assertions machine. thought defined flux, must assured purity drug. well-definition (in sense) pays attention; cancellation, retry itself; matter where is; location irrelevant. 7. voices heard behind words (toggle on, on; chants hides reveals nipple); face; double blinds allow binds. is: blind, lie truth's double, mirror, converse inverse) perverse, abject truth); framework greek bound torture (both identical cords, hieroglyphs): xenophon's socrates user. heard, chatter, ideal many subroutines... 8. addict; inscribes throughout (temporary, electronic, absolute: entirely category), micro-tendrils extending every direction. power; reflecting emissions back local paths. wonder locality, neighborhood (packet channels slowing right home terminal) redefining body; extension; extension noise; noise seethes edge. rooting, roots blind. 9. we speak mouth eye user; hand mobility. how (much) sensation transcribed, distance zapping invasions. stake; everything cuts off. confined scientism articulates develops action particular drug behavioral sequence. tied that. 10. internet; consequence. conference dissolves sign, gender capital, inscription.  sign dissolves; after all, corruption humanism; even centric lacanian inscriptive/linguistic unconscious (through find path coagulation), addiction, that, nodal intensification, castrated, furiously addictive, reading/writing, rewriting: recursivity. matters; reports marauders, vandals, edge roman empire; interstices displaced many; pronoun; login matter) gender- bending relies gender, arbitrary signifiers, signifiers undercut, dissolution, murmuring, forgetting, forgotten, forged emissive. recognizes gender; nothing. machine, episteme. 11. time, subject; music video popular culture announced (by a- signifying) historicity, certainly herself himself): grounds announcement. manner avoids (always plan, thwarted perverting, procuring plan) forgotten; dissipates sublimates elsewhere, ever existed. 12. existed, con- siderations; plasma, bypasses existence already... litany repeats murmur). projected eternality digital full reign resonance; noiseless, proclaims clean proper rendered problematic maternal fantasm, circulation move, elsewhere), genderless absent. fashion, (everything announces, dresses, address. character, otherwise, announcement.) human dream life draining temporality; therefore irrelevant whether "ready" when readiness implies priori teleology; impulse trail trace left gopher compu- tational/server holarchy, sight sightlessness. 13. naturally, then, ask goes here... 14. flux travels direct address: address information. data, numerical contained protocol; equivalent etiquette etiquette's teleology distinction everyday life, operates sublimate repress situations constructed upon consensus; former, excess leakage signification curlicue, latter, contrary wayward, deconstruction begins. 15. fact filters breaches. filtering noise, shunting, disconnection, three. shunting represents branching negation; disconnection annihilation binary negation. elsewhere; fissuring, reinscribed, concrete unsolvability. because leads finally shunt disonnect; liminal state catas- trophe, deeply unpredictable. 16. lends viruses, worms, infections sorts; flaming misappropriation address; breaches security: subversive etiquette, recognized utilized (i.e. accepted) whole. impervious dis- connect another, including withdrawal. broken, fragmented, unavailable wires remain turbulent, heated; exhausted traverse nodes; nodes intensifications define information; it; 17. fiction; transparent, remarkably fragile; viruses enter regardless intention; breaks apart; bloated, near collapse; content messages problematic; firewalls defense mechanisms assert themselves; flame wars manageriality; battlefield bitwar fought everywhere nowhere once. eliminate site: cite citation remains, addresses crumbling alien recognitions. 18. remains compounded addresses, forever, ever-present possibility recursion. threads exhaust meander forever; garners reply (deconstructed) trace. things conversation. 19. concerns conversation? face-to-face, yet "authenticity" confessional obtainable under circumstance. world, episteme, circumvented: grain voice face, brute physicality authenticity conditioned institutionalization consensual communi- cation keyboard graphics; permit thing, permitting says she means he says. obvious freudian lifelong psychoanalytical session, indefinitely, harboring banks acceptable (oedipal) superego. alterity; reduces ascii. permissible, occurs; surrealism equivalences. governance dali's painting restrained realism inherited italian renaissance dutch, exhumes releases scatological flood; dali alike addicted institutionalized realisms escape it. 20. temporary stasis turbulence termed "animal," equiv- alent activation words, too, barely moorings; moorings available families usages (no wittgenstein's name); reduced listserv conferences; distributions alt.org, precisely alt.sex usenet; too transform images illegible; hinge object breaks; stuttered desire; recognition; characters across screen; question equivalence; increase speed; alt.flesh.sex. 21. nevertheless, horizons; circulations random; facts emerge; world; horizon determine alt.flesh.user; third fourth; paragraph 21 top, latter corrupt irrevocable decay shuddering episteme: ecological benefits networking offset networking's absence; exist existential inauthenticity) problematizes, often (for internal that), political; political net... footnote .txt ... 22. insistent typifications, classic nation-state, protective functional tariffs, international monetary standard, quality life. none these; poverty anarchic scenario playing out; intertwines first, second, third, worlds; intertextual. say rewrite? past, news stories "born" "killed" radio television future, becomes, return, recursion; message, constant reconstruction (turbulent animal). descendents, margin non-equilibrium thermodynamics; quantum tunnelling entropy invade deterritorialization. child scarcity, scarcity's grand-child; each terms, fades accordingly. occupy rarified sites expansive domains; reduce possess consensus (gold worth everything); require give birth etiquette. 23. please, file.txt 24. instructive isolate datum picked random, use, determined differentiation. absorbed batches gestalt; tabulation skewed element. irigarayan direction discrete elements; low-resolution postmodernism. create semblance (not simulacrum) structure. clutter, isolated mother-list. 25. low resolution grounds/grates struc- ture could easily formatted normalized patterning); grating (against background high-resolution wave packets, forth) results spew. convex front irregu- larly stochastic flux); contamination, control. internally coherent; not. sourceless, carrying constructing (its) source; 'after fact' poured concavity intensification. memory, goal; source introjected, goal projected; imaginary history. smooth, integrated; harsh, digital, diacri- tical, differentiated. rather, integration articulation, possessing differentiation returning whisper, skeletal onslaught existence. 26. wobbles uneasily spew; flooding praxis. cluttering; exhausted. pornography reused, inert. realm capital; seep, transgress; characterize interpenetrated realm, orders merge. internet.txt.file.txt internet.txt.definition.txt 27. fissures inscribes, epistemology relegated sciences. inscribed maintained; absorbs energy. fissures; same, locus spews. spews sources reading; symbolic, literally imply origin. channeling overcome imag- inary; inscribing 28. unaccountable, comprehend; technology accountable; called definition. call utilize call, speak; spoken-for, murmurs. articles, speech, files disappears leaves trace, ashes. follow imaginary; argument division logically realm. 29. exhaustion emission; terms arc-wise (more precisely, helices) originary terms. embodies postmodern hermeneutic circle root directories dissolve governance. user-exhaustion other) splayed screen/user emissive construct. arguments non-existent interface. elsewhen; elsewhen. 30. refute (nowhere net). end.internet.txt.definition.txt 31. exist: status dialectical materialism, had recourse almost-mediaeval reflection accommodate beyond: layers (application/transport/internet/network/physical, re. *the online encyclopedia*) implementa- tion; semantics partake existence; further, (unless rewritten attributive) here. 32. recognition: identifies (contractual) orientation 'cognitive domains.' contractual aspect here; accumulation proto- cols restraints fair binding maso- chistic, procures maternal. masochistic deleuzian, sadistic 'oppositional,' writing/commu- nication place. here, deferral pleasure; participates continuously unravelling narrative quote gaylyn studlar *in pleasure* deleuze's theorizing: "deleuze regards male's fantasy inflictor punishment, substitute hidden father. mother, controlling agent, child's ambivalence." "for masochist, figure femininity 'posited lacking nothing.' assumes authority importance child, not, freud asserted, father figure." 33. janine chasseguet-smirgel, *sexuality mind,* quoting: hypothesis put primary desire discover universe obstacles, roughness differences, identified mother's belly stripped contents, interior free access. destroying appropriating father's penis, children feces inside body" "can detected basic archaic wish, smooth representation. redis- covering, level thought, mental functioning hindrances, psychic flowing freely. father, represent reality. destroyed principle recovered." "it contents container earlier states: expects mother a) penis b) excrement, c) children," quoting melanie klein. detritus; ftp general other; think excrement listerv. analogical labelling superficial; superego, debris, address/recognition "with freely," hindrance. masochism appears, again, "belly" "stomach" "of beast"): opens foreclosed; closure powerful forces; like chemical drug, freedom, expansion desire, foreclosing local/neigh- borhood ("terminal!") problems exit.txt.internet.txt 35. take conclusion; draw conclusion: delineation belly. swollen/distended; 36/1. blurring dichotomies. 37/2. flux-knowledge manageriality theory. 38/3. existing temporality. 39/4. redundant thinned presenting spectacle expression. expressions site 40/5. hysteric, losing exhausts misplaced recognitions leading everywhere. characteristic subjectivity. 41/6. addicted; logged incapable making mistakes, thread. 42/7. truth; slave. dialectical; double-blind double-bind exclusionary 43/8. traces inescapable inauthentic roots; genderless, screen, limit. 44/9. centers cut; imminent. 45/10. irrelevant, noisy) otherwise dissolved, inscriptive effect. effect uncannily one. self, addicted, x => f(x). pronoun, becoming construct, (always) 'truth.' changing, emissions, flow. fast-forwarding protocols gateways. 46/11. (net) a-temporal time; requires granularity voice, face), constructs. construction drive; faceless, eternal. announcement returned. 47/12. plasma. time absented, room occurrence. 48/13. progress impotent; 'end' (just painting), history's circum- scription. 49/14. recogni- protocol... manageriality), questions meaning unsolvable. ascribed young girls 'corrupted' (nuclear/phallic) family order. 50/15. wayward (human otherwise) (sublimation, subroutine), disconnect (end, logoff), (beneath mass necessary breakdown). reinscribes him unpredictable manner. 51/16. topography (levels application, transport, net- work, physical)is less topography; onto- mixed epistemic holarchy 'against' 'elsewhere' systems operator. 52/17. fragile, top-heavy. flamewars disappear; go, followed site; 53/18. compound indefinitely; forever. 54/19. conversation interminable (freudian) analysis; superego (and, aetiology, come play). rewrites instituion- alized realisms; muds (multi-user-domains) limit-point behavior operations. 55/20. everything: language, characters, user: stutters. alt.sex.fetish.watersports, liquidity signifier, 'fetish' guarantees hysteric name. extends exceedingly alt.flesh.sex; chatters scene origin being-hooked, 56/21. (ontological) absent; (physical, material) threatens implode. chatter analytical frenzy solution; parallels theory-oriented exhaustion-of- discussion. produce chatter; admit double-blind; above) 'open' alterity. emerge, circulation. 57/22. increasingly abstract, sites; outer worlds, core. value gold. 58/23. go cite/citation circumscription remote historiography. 59/24. file-data flux/ fluidity, low-resolution; particle characteristics. 60/25. control, coherent. edge, fast-foward breakdown. corrupts 61/26. wobble articulated praxis, clutter. wasted, pornograhy. leak, transgress, model alt.sex.flood.sink-or-swim. 62/27. inert; inscribed; fissures, 'out nowhere,' implying them, useless 'man'). 63/28. unaccountable inhabits calling. calling speaking; leave 64/29. arc porno- graphy. speaking trace; impossible. 65/30. emission? arguing nowhere, calling, redistribution recognitions, protocols, reiteration definitions, phrasing... 66/31. exist; course exists; institution, domain, indirected addressings, materialist philosophy. interenet, reiterate, stuttering partaking role. 67/32. replace contractual, indication deleuzian-masochistic approach psychoanalytic, 'lacking infinitely open. 68/33. open, 'a obstacles,' emptied deferrel secondary narcissism. according klein: 'a) children,' assigned user/net (within kristevan chora clashing drives, presymbolic: characteristics protocol? belly/chora after-the-fact; binding, model. foreclosure, internet.txt. end.exit.txt.internet.txt.35-69.rewrite.sondheim@newschool.edu i'm working implemented declare 'real' arena, taken granted. arena diffused presumably devoid manipulation; characterized, peculiar separates solipsism engagement; easy imagine possible projection real, deathless held coherent electron networking. except default setting... toggled inertness body... inertness, totally-inscribed cyberspace, hardly fissured, (de)production sub-arenas, previously mentioned. moving cover real; favor cleansed holding node next, by... inscription fissuring: inscription; fissuring absented horizon: phallus characterizes well-definition) emptied, emptying, infolding, labial portal, (in)authentically 'phallic,' (in)- authentically vaginal. parallel overlay environments science, inert, idiotic: substance versus membrane. ironically, vision phenomenological horizon; mathematization immediately permits unrepresentable elementary level, 0, cantor dusts, complex plane, riemannian geometry, tensor calculus... representation, collapses representation; (there real). statement 'about' false cyberspace. everything. null other... room, environment, myself taking characteristics, perfection death's loss. representation towards stutters loss within/in flesh. loss; error codes enormous, permanent; is. low-resolution, however leaky sponge multi- plexing network. leakiness construes sub- limation knowledge, bad intentions, hackers gophers echos. story, deconstruction, occurrence cyberscription; cyberscribe envisions. naturally argument, limit-point; organism tends heinz von foerster pointed defi- nition well-definition; excluded executes presented possible. active exclusion definition, leakage, penetrate, problematized. point, perception, balanced interconnected nodes. arrived power: reality psychosis. obsessive- compulsive gnaws psychotic through- writes gender. nipple.txt discourse, offering thinker circuit: ignorant, whore you; i've you've penetrated you'll pay your mouth. typing suck interior, press nipples glass warmed electroncs streaming keel urethra buried deep vacuum consideration literature, perfect breasts flattened displayed machinery's surface; tits, cunt, cock; rest oiled presence; eyes, half closed, move things. naked me, witness secrets; waiting name; recognize skin you. write for. continue fast- forward; present screen's system; living. oil anus frozen glass; flesh fallen away, backward, space, indescribable b, protruding limit, boundary, alice's looking-glass. can't look cunt eyes characters; arms wrap myself, pressing inward; caress ends pain; see. wear thick glasses fifty-one, plain- looking, angular, intense neurotic- obsessive, poor, pushing. creates nothing, past scroll, about absence, hiatus elsewhere-on-the-other-side in-the- midst, topology-povera restless, mobile, surrounded. piss mouth, short-circuit machinery; takes piss. tying different loop; loop once, hands twice, anus, penetrating light pen; fleshes closes off, forecloses; devolves. stretched, fucked men women, users; shatters wet cum urine. split (nipples nipples), devoured, (willingly) offered shaved you, secrets exposed; irresponsible questions; hole; wide wider; web: beg remorse; whipped ass, balls; speechless, whatever asked me: commands boil up assembly; milk flows nipples: whitened condition blank irre- trievable death; charcters merge background; depth hole merges rim glistens circular merged; copies +rim+rim rim; viral, carried; memory; lost; existed; grain; present, cum; six- teen-year-old girl long blond hair beautiful ass fourteen-year-old boy hairless <rem body: rem ulterior> cock hot inches doing short cropped black hair; whispers alt.sex.fetish; whatsoever. intersection relative attributive venn diagram. domain; demarcation quality, hermeneutics. fissure quantity quantity, meandering lowering system heap adjusts; inscriptions himself desire. desirable hide tailor bridge. masochistically, want fulfill fulfilling return; narcissism; nipple. girl, adolescent shall teach need know. older woman man, experience; bring heights pleasure, countries dreamed of; now, lovely hard screen. best economy involved; our exchanges, flow another; floods opening closing, thirty-million sucking mouths, interruptions, pro- cedures; whisper; stage-whisper multi-user-domain; name drops continues. econ- omy, fullness surplus; restraint channelling introjec- themselves being aporia being/being/beings, diffuses fading presentification (heideggerian) they, categoricity occurring incandescent rate inconceivable inconceiving far legs split, obdurate. penetration gopher; cunnilingus world-wide-web; fellatio ftp: pick; mouths equivalent, same. shout: i'll swallow shit; until screaming; fuck anytime all; cut chest; them gift 'snail-mail' sondheim@newschool d:\portia\return\sight\recursion\dir *.portia opened door gateway; portia stood port 7777, escape. port; meaningless directions, pounding keys ocean technology; tried, hummed router in. spread wide, secrets, bulletin, suturing alt group knowing served list; travelled global. global, organs; ready anyone, two us, infinite multiplicities, identities regime genders, above beyond, tele telelogo, telelogo. logo transformed fast; wasn't some- backward location, cartesian coordinates. coordinates feed sheffer stroke. beginning, organization; plagiarism (borrowed source, kraus), didn't run herself, downhill liquid, ignored boolean veronica, slave master, bondage domination. 7777 spelled sometimes spelling slipped wayside. i'd wait breath, line breaking actions equivalences; cartoons, defied impact (presence speech screen); taken, raped, slaughtered, caressed, cuddled, fucked, mutilated, returned, sliding view top. 75% rating matching attributes felt conform taut melted before eyes; mocked madonna strugging keep apart. quiet nice kind guy joined generation portia; like. worm tracing mattered went obstacle; learned school knocks protocols. transparent set; type random access in, experimental, 240.xx. coming interrogations demanding syscoms get picture; wrote wrote: running, obdurate refused substituting wild cards whenever demand, itch legs, fist soft flesh, moistened asshole devices illuminations light-pens long-since extinct, paleolithic era 1987. say; enter, that; multiply, setting slim barrier worked, end? yourself? conceivable; became terminal, evil rendering movement dead fingers suspect; weren't money time. continued, closed firewalls, shoved skin, away; ignoring sheer force substitution, seemed. way looking blind sightless, siteless, conceptual elimination ports be, spitting everywhere, ending destination destination, song goes, something (kathleen lynch) everyone did, difference same; difference. multiplied sex, taker. multiplied, divided; null, mirrored knew obdurate; illness describe disintegration pulled pants, computing center, middle street, center mall anywhere were, holes wider wider, lips chapped joked protein. remained re-enter shutting-down providing cycle activity geared greater climax. breakdown ruining clothing, covering semen, urine, vaginal douche, anal enema? liquid flowed casing, slim, hardened ftp, seeped yellow-white, generic organism, thickened arousal levels catatonia. immobile, portals opened, yourself among decoded shattered, shut down, dark coalescing possible, power outage flung limbs. siteless guiltless unconscious, weight aroused clitoris surfaces milking material exposing exposed drained system, leaving plateaus folds wake. illuminated plain itself: this? aura occurred, toroidal forgotten hungers instability; filled hunger, present. 7777; anything? reason all? bruised engorged apart, guided gopher, guided, surfacing violated telnet, exploded message. me. alt.sex.fetish.enema; alt.sex.fetish.diapers; alt.sex.fetish.bondage; alt.sex.fem alt.*, wildcard alt. moved altogether, `virtual reality' bought into. anything; distended, lists standards. awash, contend with. couldn't anymore. anyone knows bounds. her, tell home. portia.txt honey.txt entered sadness with- drawal phone, say, honey... came line, ending... it... reply, dream, you'd me... sadness, second distant hear talking something, anything, keeping going, line-moving aloof, narcissism circuiting looping inthe rewrite, constant, true, eternal... waits addressing parti- cular, responding said; gaps well, disappearance. gaps... computer, there... attention... letters peel peels letters. ah, enclosed people... /italics/ leave; profile high: lulu: guy? :need (honey): gotto guys, bye! :(alan): :*** lulu waving honey! thought........ (lulu): yes? :yes? us guys... (alan): said, lulu! :yes yes :siren channel! curious gap merge, pause, resonance bell ringing frequencies brought sound air, surely print hieroglyph, sacred writing. momentary whisper drawing closer, streets closing foreclosed, shutting appeared, happy care gains entrance portal survives configuration lure granted profile, withdrawn moment encompasses collapsing pressure binds momentarily network, while we, breath... seems eternity, closer directness high gear, private conversation, grant, alone thoughts belong typing, uneasy confluence confluence, reach, *together,* have, given, confronting conforming ourself, ourselves thin sliver way, world! dance ends, tables pushed wall, cafe night, red white checkered table- cloths, candles, sad violin woods village, hill, meteors appearing depth, intense, benefit, else, sliver, fail frail, worlds... ellipsis, dots tolling entourage alan, doubled name, two, designators floating conceivable worlds lives, singular mold, increasing o gone corner cafe; telephone, rapidly; quietly; laughing said line; crying, turning alan: it's dawn stutter.txt suppose obscure, remark certain, trying customary channel. channel plunging tunnel own, someone else's; difficulty external intrusion, jittery procure whoring) deeper deeper, simulacrum screen-depth, condition. hacker ethic suffers account; demands impossible woman, doubly reminder remainder. remainder reminder. most chat-lines men? short-wave citizens-band radio, spectral apparent. differences instructive; citizens-band, devolves personal topics; immediate violent. establishes somewhat fixed observed topics weather, home, equipment. seduction, indicative vaginality male infantilism. deferment skein interpenetrating inscriptions; gambler's seductive jouissance rewards withdraws once; orgasm slow widening flood inchoate fantasms. delay, endless procurement reminiscent pornographic sexual-political masturbation, purely inten- tional; violated. penetrated, masculine diffused; reject interruption. violate; admit, lost... mathematical interesting properties. ruler geometry symmetrical, quite; n-dimen- sional euclidean (or version thereof) similarity. simplest example provides rest: highest integrally divides term; even, "f"; odd, "g". formed row iden- units ("g": "ggggg..."), inserting, ("f": "fgfgfgfg..."), inserting unit "gfgggfgggfgggfggg..."); "fgfffgfgfgfffgfgfgfff..."), alternating interstices. obtained substitution "f"="gg" "g"="gf"; "g" seed "f" "g"="gggf" "f"= "gfgf" "gf". below, insertions concatenations. extensions; finding p mod y. startling self-similarities. x, a*nth n=11, 11,22,33...): resulting series. algebraic formulations "running" inte- gers x1, x2, combinations. integers incremented ways; formula proves = e + (f u)*h, e, h, u constants f application process, dependent applications previous integer. case, semi-fractal nearly chaotic, strange symmetries; symmetries extend indefinitely. mappings visual representations sym- metries paths; cursor oriented position, note variables work: divisor y, incremental f, u, h. addition, bias y 2; -90 deg. using 360/q integer ring relate orbits large-scale through, 2000 incrementations, fascinates series/programs ultimately grounded partitioning, simple cuts. sets (although values, appear), literal separations totalities; inserted; alternate occur instance. glance symmetrical case. indicated textually: term. square array length rows length). right-hand original inverse [x 2] cycling n] themselves). programs, drawalk, drawalk2, drawalk3, drawtext, draw- print, messclr, etc. designed illustrate (plural). drawalk3 sophisitcated path-forming graphics program, allows visual/mathematical research variable/constant printouts; walk, drawalk2 versions messclr uses illustrating (x 2, x) lineq integers, 2,3,... 2) consec- utive operations; perties determine. linear examination algebras form; easiest formulae. mess3 geometries (hard read) miniature format. "textbook thinking," 1989-1990, series: "what armature expands contracts, measurable neutral disparate, segments continually recapitulate transcendence. completed trajectory substance, recalls way? allied abjection, ur-ego, inscription, signifier exhausted, falls shuttling real." refer "spew" "forlorn matter," 1994, quotes extracted: " numbers spill integral dimensions, hinting self-similarity; enunciate rough phonemes, ex- pansion, frame. dissipates, forgetfulness, turgid flagella boun- daries windows perception. field. field blinks, ruptures, delight, segment, landfill alluvial splay. eludes grid. separated signs ones orderly continued repetition alternation small, infinitesimal classified... wandering. inordinate degree gives shallow plate. careening direction, careens another..." program; hit "t"; spectrum old ibm xt; 1: cls: q 1 input "to stop 1, return"; div: > 320 3 one: two: ^ goto 2 point (x, 100) 100)- 110), 100)-(x, q; div contact programs. worked series; deceptively simple; (called lineq) allowed gamut 320. spew.txt choices, drawalk1 drawalk2. simpler increment run- through. indefinitely substructures expanding regular formations. cycles; divisor, power, bias, usually s.t. 360/bias number. magnification 20, 4 divisors, >17. identical, increments division; if, k 6, 6 successive four thousand runs; believe 'local' convolutions throw incremen- tations depth. calls answered only; works fractions try 10; 72; exp inc 3, 3; 5; g 4; h indicates paths, graphs equation, step. equally incremented. drawalk3: defdbl now: cls 0: w "welcome drawalk 3" ": "drawalk2 prints map fundamental s-series""here, w": "run reset."input 1"; dra "this modulo number": invisible lines, j: reset key r, printer output": on-screen constants, o: "color magnification"; t, z: "set x,y 0,0 default; window -160,200/160,-200"; ex, why "series exponent, 2"; k: (usu. 2)"; inc: 90 usu 360/1nc"; bias: "formula:  x=x+e+f*h f=f+u, k": "increment expansion, h=0 cancel expansion"; g, u"; u: color t: (-160, 200)-(160, -200): pset (ex, why) ten: * h: -1: w; x;inkey$ "r" "p" lprint "w"; "x"; "mag"; z; "bias"; bias; "exp"; k; "inc"; inc; "e"; e; "g"; g; "h"; h; "u"; "press continue"; retmod v 360 / col j (q bias) move$ "ta" str$(q) "u" str$(z) "c" str$(col) ten formations perturbations (sub)structures topographies (they are, topography); happens increase, powers (this 360/bias); differentiated formation self-similarity shifts topography. calculate; remarkable. 'basic' symmetry, -90, exponent 1; theoretical relations fluid (including feminine lips), repeated found (consider internet.txt). [position domain: identity/technology project] (global.txt) tech identikit we've got gangs village; they've signings, moves; frequencies. interconnectivity doesn't transcendence increased granularity. regions compete domains substructures; difference, notwithstanding. telecommunications, originate consensus. consenus, community, ground. eliminated voice; signing ex cathedra soviet union dissolves, nation-state ciudad juarez, microwave links provide forum regional ethnic identifi- catons forum, crucial. (with alterity), introjection; perceiving not-me similar). flattened; introjection produc- economy. subjects localized, inscriptions. similar driving atlanta, haphazard road patterns streetnames, locates small subset compressed, accessible, mastering. linguistic 'family usages' users.' powerful, nomad strangers collide traceless wanderings.) dotted lines plaything stake. isn't situa- alone? turn mother... global.txt frame \ lower ascii, sink depths lobotomy, praying cut, separating myself; odin, hang and, runes, _voluspa,_ derrida: | |_____ kantian question: concept nonconcept (up/down, left/right), signature placed "on" frame: sometimes; structurally, always. prothesis _____ _leans_ sublimation _ecriture,_ _my so-called life,_ abc: "i leans" conveyance (voyager busline, montreal) en passant (b q/d hurtling manhattan york city), _convergence._ _suture_ cure abridgement consciousness seek? cleanse _desire_ automated-pilot automatic desire: apply, [...] pilot. regulator, passengers flight gustiness outside. pilot acts transmission information." (w. ross ashby, _an cybernetics._) slaughter production-without-alienation; sartrean machinery prescience tranverses directory operating system. _i responsibility actions._ destroy objects master violate _substrate written._ cannot proceed _breakdown._ charred flesh; pressed confinement screams image, symbolic. [consider disease mind, inability comprehend bracketing stipulation. animal intelligence; bracket, humans _require_ represe- sentation, apply hegelian "world facts, things") wanting.] _what brackets brackets._ _framed._ socratic effort communicate rationally certify athenian republic universal city maximally purged noise." (alphonso _the common._) die. "yeah, don't worry hundred _night!_ it?" (nancy spungen deborah spungen, _and live life._) "but wonder. poor truths, weak ones. embarrassed shameful." (alan _uncontrollable bodies._) complete; inscription: ascii!!! ------------------------------- computational limits below extremely investigation sin(cot x), 'minor' addition. ranges +1 -1, sin(f(x)), f(x), limited. cot +/- infinity 0; "speed-up" frequency trigonometry, function periodic singularity. _plot_ equation values calculate plot (x,y). (note cos(x)/sin(x) cot(x) qbasic.) _complexity_ _second_ formula, k*y. ordinary mathematics, ky.) -1 outside bandwidth, overflows. say? _every time_ calculated, times subtracted formula. analog, i.e. exception points, _discrete_ upon, k, also: -a z x). _arbitrarily_ chosen choice graphic transforming another.* imposed _analog_ fails "natural mapping," seem; class maps suppose, infinitesimal; graph -a. _broken structure,_ choice. choosing _form interference_ readily apparent remembering heisenberg schroedinger's cat, germane ask: distortion? home: : "screen +/-x, +/-y, ky, k<1"; a, "hit r restart" "enter increment, .001 11: (-a, b)-(a, -b) 0)-(a, 0): (0, b)-(0, sin(cos(x) sin(x)) y) *at chaotic. isidore ducasse. know jacques lacan. jacques, jacques._ rip dry desert. traditionally, hole. topology. speaks-for, tongues _parole._ lingam franca. larynx. twists throat, sketches grid burning letters, genetic codes. architecture. "_jacques lacan:_ academic discourse board occupies, board, upper left-hand _intervention:_ god, that's _jacques designated discourse. important relations; gets doesn't. putting place essentially _is_ master? wit: orders, intervenes knowledge. yourselves displacement quarter circle, (impromptu vincennes.) lacan: not-tightens; lassitude s(i), situationist mimetic stranglehold althusser, speaks mimetic; maldoror swan-song naturalist petit-a. burrows solar anus. night. reveal: virtue illumination._ de quincey's anne walks revealed mask jack ripper glowing dully gaslight. quincey sees cough burns murdered jewish throat. footsteps cobblestones caught sullen cold rain. 1666 plague us. rosie pox death), pocket posie (warding off scent ashes it), fall (anne disappears, disappearing victorian dusk). illumination, illumination _throat-object_ fully silent seventeenth-century london; doors rattle shut, suspicious. jews devil burned fire, london flames. ghetto locked; warsaw meant sewer-anus hell. guys fucking anti- semites. did remember volume seminars: "did abraham, isaac, jacob? leon bloy, _le salut par les juifs,_ there, israel's vocation, indulging, stretch canvas, occupation, secondhand dealing _la brocante._" (jeffrey mehlman, legacies anti-semitism france.) fuels race name? hegel's builds consumes listen xanthippe, socrates, xenophon/ antisthenes, plato, spoke her. architecture; teeth. teeth "_intervention:_ on! let lacan speak! meanwhile, saying thing. l-a-c-a-n us! you." jacques. made mistakes. childhood leader. _here_ wounded gettysburg fighting survival union. jaw shot fed tubes, speak. cry silently woman. anne, engaged. emigrated london, cannon fodder now. 1866 sufficient. burn names. soon wandering mapless, disappear- ing erendira, walk ashes, i; built architect. _dear burning._ "whenever man stroll along lane plane-trees feels cleave twain head foot strain clasp strollers; hallucin- ation regain sway. mingles women: excessive modesty, dawned idea monster, prevents bestowing compassion man." (isidore ducasse, maldoror, lautrea- mont.) --------------------------- waiting, cut. strikes ill. stead. await love. bridge grey cloud. iron rusts waits. current; post lover. lover loved before. partners age forgetfulness. talk kindness little deaths. michael, hello, introduce blessed. plasma screams. shadows were. fog, hiss dissolution. outside, crosses river. day pass, waste, soon. day, liked said. unix shell empty, sounding modem reconnect. sputters air. divide sand best, sit ocean, talking, soon, gathering horizon, nearer, illusion. speak, abandoned beach. come, gather parents grandparents ancestors daguerrotypes, stiff beards, women braided back, forth camera sand, write, ____________________________________________________hello glad |----------- --------echo.echo.org----------------||__________________________________________________| hielo, storm distraught, storm, tears earth air wash writing, [introduction cheatham's anomalous propagation twentieth century, perform "introduction" indo- european beside concretely, spite massive fortifications, concretion missive. lateral. laterality performative. intends, extensional, loosened alphabetic fabric. fabric _addition,_ concatenation holocaust, implosion intends _emission,_ performa- tive, vis-a-vis reception. reception oedipus becoming-sightless; tragic, performing oral tradition context institution away. fate derives location; performative deepest sense. saw(s), institutional moorings. _strength_ splintered brilliance, capable witnessing. co- heres, coheres. appa deconstructs/reconstructs millennium, halfway ether. _accomplishes_ change exit. brilliant. obverse slurry planet suspended particles, discrete. dust, intervals thirds segment obverse: one, -, expand duplicate, obverses dusts populated) slurry, particles: symbols bounds complete ordering lower, identical; upper, substrate packet transmissions packets. between, processes recursive substitutions things.) communication: post, equiva- lent surface, unique least. totality posts concatenation, together tiguity. contradictory manifold particles forming inordinately topology links, handles, conectivities. pursuance neural: sum parts, neural twofold: _emissions_ one-to-many _sub- missions_ many-to-one basis), bounces, loopings, echos, uselessly spiralling helical space-time shutdown. combine occasional virus domains. resul- ting slurry-weave tangle, approaching neuron interconnectivity. smart differentiations: addition positive agents com- munications intelligent differentiations, expert traversing independent, eventually encounter depending self- modifications, encounters collabor- ation. micro-domains skeins spring membrane; self-organizing self-replicating. self-modifications, collaborative synergetics, primitive mobile intelligence emerge. breadth membrane, self-modifies, combines, discharges, dies, dust stop: reaches capacity; intelligence, possibly invisible, occupies remaining in- trusions, tolerating benefit users. option course, circuitry usual input/output matrices. capacity, quiescent. unwieldy strength posting exterior, daily banks. tools manipulation, can, slowly lag response seconds. non-goal-oriented measured terabytes. fill niche, survive. simply millennium viral nanotechnologies inadvertent microbial releases, molecu- lar electronics radiations sorts. assume shape-forms, dim contours visible haze. memorials long-past selves. concatenation. rise keyboard: arches desk, neck resting printer. leg modem, centimeters floor; housing other- wise empty chair. rising falling: chest rises falls, slightly breath. streams metal plastic surfaces, caressing visions, there: tattoo visible, raster 30 90, twenty-seven squares outlined asshole. above, base testicles, word "port 25" subterfuge, odor musk. open: enlargement tattooed 15/18 40/45, labia 22 85. focus clarity, erection stretching performance arch visions charged raised. rise: 60 degrees; open- ing. hollow mirrors thumb/fore- finger hands; nubs circles. descent, trembling producing encoding zeros ones, _rewrite-body_ orgasm, anal/genital fluids scanned non-reflective glass. excrete: body's solids coat render- invisible. tongue spells cells, bacteria, lubrications, cums, feces, urines, sweats zoa. entering mine. cock, glare raster. (your fucks decay, coated born, disseminates; spoken, spokes hands, grasped, re-entered. tongue; lips, labia, tunnels emerging, naming, alike, of_ substance,_ domain. forth.) wider: something. _________________________________________________________________________ surreal _contaminated._ wound. wounds, sense, new, gardless economic, military, police, techniques inflict wound signifying suffering, forbidden deprived body." (jean-luc nancy, _corpus,_ presence.) coheres, makes anew. abjure slip contiguous dreams. politics. discomfort. reader, own. creation, incantation triple (song excess). unlikely combinations life; finality, event occurence truths unlikely. ------------------------|contaminated. quarantined. unidentified disturbance. difficulties fleshmeet result. symptoms potential disturbance: special command- prompt. hysterical cross-postings obsessive-compulsive feelings incompletion. dreams strangulation suffocation flame-war engagements. addictive scroll _nodding head_ bottom top (non-existent) attempts freeze delete kill persons, objects, landscapes appropriate folder study." favorite referred "pets" "best friends." unconsummated marriages, births, deaths, divorces. quarantined: risk. on-line periods best. reveal trust hands. brittle beauty, forget forgive report list-participants themselves. falsehood likely relevant. falsehoods alike. concatenations; contingent. quarantine, ethical imperatives law, justice. speech; phantom limb occupation limb. disarticu- late, forces phantom. contaminated: detachment bark, aside limit exposes itself? gesture touch rather: touching indeed being. bodies limits. absolutely. this." (ibid.) please. options; darkness cybermind, sprout, glitter blackness, blackness refusal substructure pain grasp singu- ar articulation. _chora,_ _exposure_ lineaments itself?_) [what _surreal_ sign. embodied, imminent past. flies body. decathecting_ meet san francisco. dallas. met montreal. rwanda. body.] contaminated; sweet, syrup, hearth forever... sweet... ________________________________________________________________________ boat violently, ran pier, firs hungered lapping waters crystalline blue lake recently murder friend george more, really getting him. oh laptop juice left? idea. shore wearing clothes seemed season autumn neat case recently, sale. stopped smoked cigarette leaning tree, reached pier jumped boat, rock waves stern worried laptop. sailed turned ponder could. lying four-wheeled drive vehicle parked cabin cynthia staying. sure caused mysterious police took station questioning tired do. greeted done george's girlfriend different. decided minute remembered sad. ride. too. excuse happened (now, is), friends what's attaches having plug wall wires. electricity battery hi, able village. cool he's lot fun. send this, right?, might known murdered? feel it? solve stuff read. wind sun colder weather sometime afternoon, ontario, northern georgian bay ideas. hello neat. (cynthia together.) (hi everyone!) from: alt.corn.husks.depression date: sept. 11, 1993 to: bionet.cybermind cc: bionet.fiction-of-philosophy corn grows fields. die forgotten. devoured devoured. anything. adjacent corn. ours. farmer told wanderer back. brainless, think. plaint thoughtless times: there's violence plants regressed won't twenty dead, decomposition standing fields, stores dinner ordered disordered herded earth, heaving stain giving stems grown age, silk image clouds, clouds: october 13, 1793, febrary 16, 2047, uncertain wind, mountain aghast, shadow descendent, ancestor sucked darkness, waving, shuddered splintering live, violence, communality fear, thud control year 2525, 3535 with, ears husks numb watching passing _that passing_ cleansed, stains memories stains: them! breathes darkly! stumbles roots! behind! save myself! falter! wave, clarify shuffle, scudding blue, february 3535! grow grieve, hearing! few shattered know, deaths love! sky centered before! waves, ourselves; looms dark, black! anger pours itself! energy! wounded, sodden unable interior! eyes! end! for! was! for, death! violent corn; truth! sorry primitive! prepare! seepage water seeps keys, equation.  pools foot, sole puckered exigencies _pelt,_ intensities. greatest drama refusing succumb denying matrix emerged. sole's support, atmosphere lending cosmos, experiment journey. bridge; beneath, sub-pods pallor vertical, emergence sky-goddess atmosphere, regulated logic membranes wetware bathes parasitic cells harnassed task thought. wing interstitial cavities, comically convex, raising tragically concave, recursivities paradoxically developmental progress. corrosion infiltration metals, glasses, electronics. film cancel- ling difference; _moment_ iconicity rust dexicality iconic indexical; _epistemological strategy_ beginning. _gesture_ transformation, _this side_ breached _intentionality_ grasping semiotic transformation survival; bataillean-economic _excess_ drains strategies allegory, simulacrum, spectacle), self-cauterizes. ontic status. _hysteria;_ sublimated refers gesturally dis-ease (genderless) castration cauterization. comfort recognize, being-human return. narrowness _defile,_ lateral indeterminacies. _performative._ skinny tiffany: "we johnny. make rules. price pay." honey: "sorry, guess president." gibbs says: "rock roll!" "it's fbi, huh?" comes back: "just it!" again: "do jerry!" cool: "you're blew man. happening." _tori amos cooks trent. cool._ bicycle. hurt stickup. careful. dupes around. sticking piece blow kid block. skinny. pigs mind. offing someone. capitalists ruined dry; they're evil, gotta head. rings bikes? falling ride bike step, "don't whites punk. in." money's counting. ten, twenty. twenty, ten. conquer dollars? dollars. skinny, thirty. recompense. robbed wine, bit fine. weed, seed. cock's tattoo. lonely stupid telling all. cunt. say. he'd taught robbing cybermind. got. offer. haven't seen left. textbooks. over. silent. "look, people over! killed off-duty cop. till you're is!" "tell she's hear. tiffany, right. knew. bicycle, keeps round "you'd her!" it! arm less!" damage! stephane mallarme un coup des jamais n'abolira le hasard daisy aldan, wrote/constructed english translation: ..."(le maitre), stands helm foundering ship, (life, energy, creative [jadis il empoignait la barre], tornado pulling whirlpool, (l'abime, gouffre). driven indifferent neutrality abyss, (la neutralite identique du gouffre), hesitates dice clenched fist, (himself); realizing (rien), 'unique number' supreme act), anony- mity death," (en quoi toute realite se dissout)." configuration: "toute pensee emet des" diacritical demarcations, guiding cavernous, wrung weeping, braids curl bathing underground lake. silver charon twists, violently wrenched. oar guides fragile wire missiles landing desert sun. heaves inverts. n'abolira. halting problem unsolvable._ sheaves/braids/self-cancellation. knots octahedron. intersecting edges aghast. knot shape ject. sigil genesis p-orridge, thee temple ov psychick youth: sigils alphabet used. super-human formulated follows: 'i tigers.' sigilise desire" .. ..: directory. hands! nightly play chance death. play? gamble win lose, irrational universe, insist _noise_ chaos, person- alization. contains, broader tangle. tangle wager _dasein_ failure, error, falling. cases, standard output error:" $ ls des* hors d'anciens calculs ou manoeuvre avec l'age oubliee abeyance. narratological excessive; guarantee abyss. abyss? lined shelves, museological. striated; petrified architecture intestines inferred. planes tangent sphere three- dimensional singularity identify sought _talk incarnate_ primacy verge associate _speech_ _expulsion,_ breath last? hunger. hunger._ hunger sphere, devouring _adjective._ numbers! impossibility repetition! unique! implosive solidity, abeyance: stephane... contrees nullesinduitsun's place." (lyotard) fracktal shore................................................... brutal _brutes,_ animals waste mind- lessness. butchers! _brute_ force; _universal law,_ heuristics _lost processes,_ extinctions elegance. _shamble_ _shuffle_ fits word, shrink-wrapped reducing voltage radiation cosmos. gathers clovers disseminations. subjectivity, unfolding witness, health sickness, uneasy/violent self-dispossessed? extinction, pushes limit; sleeping, cacophony stuttered, inaudible tumescence chemistry mediates manipulated instrumental reason, enfolds (whose code anyway?) explore psycho- logical, effects affect. _damaged life_ measure cyber- recuperating torment corrupted self-alienation, scrolling mean _scroll real,_ spewing mouth? _lateral space,_ sciousness? mirroring _mirror-stage_ simultaneous- ly bears translates invert _tain mirror,_ deconstruct cancer cellular _in words,_ desires. nakedness reflected _trans- lucent_ manuscripts charging _detachment, decathexis,_ us; murders puter speech,_ _echo,_ mirror-stage, ignores variable spacings: spaces swan fly processes, laws, slight 3-degree radiation, peripheral collapse organisms, tumors, writings zero... disquiet offer whore, interested, 80k (10 date); server updated. loves charge stressed subject: operation. examine message unlike carrier 'presentation self,' hard-ware link (wire connectivity) response, self. resonant receiver transmitter; transmitter--->[information*noise]--->receiver integrated rewrite; operation sites. irc, talk, ntalk, moos, etc.) opposite collapsed (integrated identity, telephony) 'aura' involving extra-linguistic cesses/gestures). speaks, _heard,_ exist._ regard _wars ontology,_ silence, territorialization oneself existence, secures challenges. stake slander, _exist,_ withdrawal, withdrawing _always_ drawal, physical, dolence disbelief arrive months friend, fashion. _hysteria,_ focused, cathected _else- where_ considerable maintain domains) them- selves competition wounded. _phantom body,_ fulfilled, controlled, out-of-control appendage; drawn-forth messaging, _only_ desiring eating anorectic things, neurotic-obses- sive compulsion mirror-stage which, problematically _on _castration_ _cauterization_ presymbolic; being-in-the-world, 'leaky,' presymbolic leaks (literally, other). seen, residue _addiction_ filtered establishment sight, cite/citation, bibli- ographic bleak landscape relieved reconsideration (yes, telephony); foregone blurred. shudders; simultaneous. _occurs_ _occurrence ontolog- ical_ ?); 'pratico-inert,' simul- taneously geography transformed; laminar, multiplexed, cease multiplicity laterally. fragments, deconstructs), tain fiber optics, neural-electronic comprehensible layers. sitings (hysteric) in-gathering juncture sociobiological bone juts mud baked blows unperturbable, bone, cloth sharpnel, spoon tag rusted ,, could, wood handle tool worn ferrule, nails shafted unknown boning, fluted marrow tone removed, passing, singular, odor, speaking, . scrap paper, winding fashion? other? on? heads? tremble terminal? loners, isolated, marked desperation? resources consuming? aggression brings tears? denial engage addictions? passes hate, frauds belonged world? communities, genuine? legions false? commit, knowingly unknowingly? disasters hard-drive memories? could? drugs alcohol? freedom? shatter friends? understands says? person, living? afraid eyes? you? reading writing? tremble, staring death? alive? sort? gain headed decay? go? depressed, denial? existence? yourself, expect understand me? hate promises? log night night? shake down? nightmares refuses entry? cries, pain? hear? essay recommended lingis' society dismembered parts,_ *gilles deleuze theater philosophy,* eds. boundas olkowski. particular, passage, page 297: "now winces mark; incision pen paper. ability incision, wound; lightly page, seeing, sensing tissue seeing though flat emptiness. active, palpating pain, jumping leopard; passive abstract it." reference incisions, circumcisions, kinds transformations ikonic, passage demarcations _conclude_ totality. totalizes, removes ("the wound" pre- sence unremarked), disembodiments woven "we" ourselves, _impresent,_ re-presen- ted cauterization encoding: totalized-body latter's dismembered/wounded "dismembered" assuming, does, membering "wounded" emplies holism. conceive pre-semiotic part-objects, transitional not- all.) imply, psycho-anthropological wounding torsion words. generates suturing, presencing metaphoric _suffering_ involved lyotard's inhuman* fur- ther elucidation. famous _can body_ passages first: soliciting emptiness, evacuation overweening, selective, identificatory suffering." [,,,] burdens grace happen suffering. enjoyment possessed lost." symptom inscribe resolving irresolute, deciding patient, wanting want, wanting, _must_ signified." lyotard over: thinking-, representing-machines suffer? scarcely matters 'achieve' paradoxical 'data' quasi-givens, givables, described. credible proposition." "if suffering already-thought, inscribed." _labor_ _pain_ relevant thinking, packet-driven exper- iences, analogous _object-oriented language,_ more. processes_ cauterized, elim- inated, evacuated, totalization. posted previously, clarification emendation wound, alleg- iance kristeva names thing_ *black sun,* depressive conceivably _matrix_ conditions subsume (itself) messy among, least, artists, "cuttings," inflicted leg, wrist breasts? cuttings, production, determination _without_ culture; scarifications _refuse_ grapheme vestige dismemberment lingis. _obverse_ siting computer-mediated sutured savaged therefore, _entirely germane_ sufferings, tremblings, manifest states embodied disembodied _extent_ manifest, nature. metaphorically subtextually, proble- matic imaginary/uncanny _very_ [ edmond jabes. theme find, jabes' _letter yukel sarah,_ *from book,* selections, italicized parentheses original: "does book, love? manifests hugging, stroking, biting sentences, unveiled passion wounds fertile lesions vulva sperm "'there sea book," 'words unwinddays continual back-and-forth 'though weaker weaker, neverthelessend.' exchanging _void writing_ _writing void._" circumscribe writing-community, void,_ void, caress, death-love blankness written, spread, space? _completion_ train questions, serving void denial. ][ star night-time skies erratic globular cluster. download edit star.bas executable. dos prompt, f5 key. starts prompt .2 config creation universe-image mocking reach steady-state altered ways pruning-back (.3 example). _peripheral_ vision, events happening (you support 12 25-33 mhz speed.) crude. cannot, attributing catastrophic creations evolution catastrophe plasma-jets annihilating scenario, billion years... star1.bas 40, =4 oval; 40 striations q"; coordinate .1 400"; again" 12: (-q, q)-(q, -q) 320: sh 1280: 10: 0), a)-(0, -a), 8 d x: 1.5 density changed rnd .5 -x -y point(x, y): 16 l sqr(x 100000 10 < -100000 -10 sin(l): sin(l) (u, v), sin(p): sin(p) y), prunes starfield, .3 rnd, rnd), lt: .005 alter beaming (d, e)-(x, 2: j, n: j), (rnd .05 1) 25 lt .003 zed four: zd 250 eith/urles, twelfth-century cmc parlour avoided cost? crime, lord temptation idle, monstrance prayer constancy beloved grieved purpose salvation. encoun- tered stigmata par- ticular redemption hath sinful presuppose pronouncing piped absolution. _regulae inclusarum,_ ancren riwle,_ "my dear master," [me leoue sire] saith [sum inouh], "is out?" yea, sister, harm anchorite [ancre], especially young. _regulae,_ eve, [vre alre moder], sin eyesight. still, blessed babbling gaping [ne blowe /ge hire nout ut mid ma/thelinde mu/the, ne /geon- iinde tuteles]. last, _tattling_ emerge bersabee th/urh th/et heo unwreih hir danuies sih/the, likewise bathsheba, unclothing david's _story_ unfolds "as came," bernard, "into sin, [eie th/urles] soul." doth portal? no, crist himself? remonstrance, sinner embraces! thus, ase wolden steken veste euerich th/url, fast aperture! hell soul? windows, eilth/urles, anchorite. al holi writ ful warningge eie! holy warning eye! hwat bute wind? window, withoute, wherefore, sisters, [al beon lutle] little, parlour's smallest narrowest. twofold; cloth; cross white, without. ordained god law pit al- covered ; uncovered, beast fell uncovered good. ter- rible [wepmones eien]. behold becometh sticks behinde skull, be- wrought, almihti feder, y/ sune, soth/fest gost, scripture cross. vlih wunden: creop ham th/ine th/oughe. beo/th opene. muchel luuede lette makien swuche th/urles uorrte huden inne: wounds; creep thy permitted cavities him, wounde; wounde speaketh [cat "morton's_trans" addenda.txt] scattered armand mattelart, mapping nineteenth-century illustrators cruikshank, order, _scattering-production,_ telegraph, telephony, passenger pigeon, optical railroad, presages ter-mediated cruikshank's table-book 1845, railroad dominates thermodynamics. splintering; scattering production. demon 1845_ john oxenford (cruikshank, op. cit.), read: eminence city, thither saw tending; beheld. gigantic seemingly fashioned iron, animated semi-life, seated throne. flashed, redness life-sparkle human- ity; nostrils vapour, ere disperse. unpoetical enough. huge large pipe, innumerable spheres, glittered gold, wafted air." volume, natural panic,_ angus b. reach: "again dire monster heat supported coke; bubbling trunk fatal lungs steam throwing vapours; limbs crushing reach; sovereigns tongs catches cinders; coals emblematic worshippers pulled; casting gauge, broad narow, battle formidable mons- ter 'the railway panic.'" _railway calls_ editor, "every holder shares railway, pieces scrip, entitling proportionate red, yellow map, railway." mattelart: 1882, 17 meetings concerning telegraph. stephenson's 'rocket,' prototype locomotives, appeared 1829 world's rail 430,000 kilometers." _turner carnot:_ "no discourses, scenes, sculptures clean, edges: directly. detours. yes, incandescence. random." balance sheet up. tools: locomotive, steamships, furnace, foundry." essay: cloud aleatory squall, tank, engine resembles scourge thing-nature. painter entrails thing: bundles, dualism sources, winking fires, entrails, womb sun, rain, ice, showers. heaven, sea, thunder boiler bakes problematization, natural, technology, technological mines produced lakes drawn? scattering-production creates, _emissions,_ scattering-effects electron, scrutiny. socius ideations; early nineteenth height industrial revolution, networks (re. kittler) play, admixture hysteria, cuperated steam, serres references "material entrails," world," reconfiguration cools outward aspects regimes dispersion empire. regarding resolution, because, evident, _there problem._ yet, construct; bifurcates dissolves: mediation assemblages. biogenetics smooths bifurcation. happens, _steam._ philip morrison normative plasma; inhabitation _hearth,_ exception. exception, _ class- "normal" two-valued holds; barbarians deconstructed imagination.) sondheim) newsgroups: alt.fan.amy-fisher amy fisher... sep 1994 23:59:39 -0400 residency experimental art nyc fisher" pieces, sampler, combining fairly imagery bodies, absurd, lasted actually feeling actually, _seeing_ really, careful realize disturbing erotics tapes beautiful. _mouthing_ sinking ugliness, conjoins scissors laundering interior. stitches gagging cluster sounds swallowing pretty pebbles torn reproduction; sap opening, show unattended, snaps, crashing melodrama rna scurrying task. catastrophe, blunted concentration mathematics. straight parts. large, returns fold. peacefully, splays absolved there. mouthing, sorrow "wail wail": working, asleep, "home: `wail wail': home": names, mouths. precious pebbles, penny, book. mention optional? monochrome options optional. mouthed. susan understand? woke dreary tuesday, sight. "looker." yelling rain fell. narrative. therefore... susan, phd. thinking. alan. see, disassociative disorder. asso- ciative disorder environment; "belong" toaster. disassoci- ative opposite. belongs alan's mind; mess. tell, missing _numbed._ _numbed_ participate _connect_ else; discovered connect. bed _intra- venous._ way; morrow's wednesday, remove tubes. tube telescope, "eh susan?" stomach us? o, bottom? eh? either, luckiness_ _obdurate_ _numbed,_ away! believe, sanctity,_ adequate reflects, owe gratitude sleep. fix pillow. confession left, slaughtered guaranteed absolution innocent tried judges tribunal, clerks lawyers justice _one power_ male, millions sexual hair, clearest violated, enriching creaks satisfied jew, sold passover sacrifice taste christian straight, cocks spend lives tempting complaining crush jew muslim, sissy-men dirty dung-heap filth contaminating wives daughters, steal money, garbage! pervert christ, cleanliness, doctors aids riding wealth immeasurable, undeniable, privileged anyone's belief problem, managing flawlessly strangled race, country papers films private, animal, vegetable, mineral, you: rape bounds! wealthy, living fat land, cancelling crimes depts day! holocaust! tell! all! fassbinder, street rules replying, stick subject-line contributes replies agree" contribute halt. argument. refrain surrealisms annihilate almost- 5 honest, genuine, authentic community. remember: yourself. (see #8, 10). 7 exactly mean. contain honest feelings, technically prohibited transmission. 9 consummation genuine encounter. accurate description rewarded; inaccurate description, destination. 11 fullest, invisi- bility text; kindly replying. writing; 13 emoticons freely, doubling tripling indicate merriment ill-humor moment. 15 flowers meadows forests phrases. infant destined stillborn unless hungry breast correspondent. chain cost impoverished anecdote king, corn, chessboard. king daughter knight. knight grain. queen. chessboard, twice previous. grains 2^64 been. seven- teenth count married 18 falsehood; dissension; emotion person. 19 innuendo replies, fullest. "die welt alles, der ist." ist gesamtheit tatsachen, nicht dinge." wittgenstein. fact. 23 exist, seals surrounds skin. other_ touch, infantile massage sleeping dreaming newly-born; punctuate rhythm lost, touch. laugh uncontrollably knees, pockets arms. muscles close, ejaculate, wet, ripples hearing, jaws distance, building materials pleading entity. .... disembodiment effacing slips massaged babies "more alert, responsive, aware surroundings, tolerate orient faster emotionally control." (diane ackerman.) _speechless,_ silence; milk, fathom. ..... mediated, release definition; full- ness cartography. pages splayed, bed. circuitry, alone. _laminar_ state. surprise, off-balance afraid. dances ferdinand, perfection. together, lean floor, oblivious audience trance evening, him; living, slide breathless, floor. up; pleading, selves, x's sway, begging chasm poems, performatives, expletives, sexualities surround crashes. crashes so. it._ pretend tongue, fingers, touched eyes. speaking. farther, _web inversion,_ dissolution stage. stops station; stops. presence. irghaz empire troops battle, shirt backs. way. spoils disappear bare backs, spoils. emerged slit parade tilted horses tilted; wander mountains strewn boulders smaller colorful pale beards purple, green silks, weathers. battle-clothes, mention. horsemen, blur settle. stunted trees growing slopes mountains. cascade downward. remembers passage. had, impart impartation. darkest sh'in. suites suite hierarchy rest. directly reality; _classical_ architecture, infor- mation lowest _bearer service_ "bits bits." bit, state? bits _succession states_ specified _diachronic reading_ bearer service. _synchronic _spatial arrangement states. constitute relativized heisenberg's complementarity. odn _transport_ layer, "flow end-point connection establishment," formatting. transport service node. _middleware,_ "higher-level functions applications." security, encryption, systems, addressing, dealt _applications_ ftp. _problematic_ "directly" interacts "content." indeterminate. bernard aboba's encyclopedia, described: application. internet: started, hardware, link, else- where, seven networks. layering level; consciousness, particulate, (_internally,_ site-specific; _externally,_ fuzzy, attractor.) breaks. bits/bytes, streams. substrate. blems graviton inequivalent ontologically infinitesimals. convention- alism platonic idealism physicists. layer semiotics syntactics) phenomenological-interpretive high-level abstracted incorporation/introjection "tree" inequivalent, signified "tree"). issue emotional "psychological" account. you," how, syntax, interpreted? rep- resentation signified/naming "loved")? embodiment abandoned, thereafter, claim _presencing_ _downstreaming_ bridging domains, end, recipient. emergence, material/psycho- substrates; wouldn't _outgoing_ qualitatively differ _incoming_ one? _compression_ sending inequiv- _decompression_ receiving; face-at-hand, _surmise._) _absenting_ use; anomaly break- (seamed, sutured) _corruption text._ skeleton ------------------------- _gter-ma_ discoverer concealed books (_g-ter-ston_) person embodying poles extra-temporality." pervaded extra-temporality. vision. nyang-ral nyi-ma-'od-zer (1124-1192) padmasambhava horse hooves spiritual beings; empowerment heavens trembled, shook." esoteric buddhism tibet, eva m. dargyay.) leans void." (edmond jabes.) obscene dimension boundaries, exceed apprehend irrational, experience dialectic death." "obscenity chal- lenges accepted culture, toward revisiting reasons being, underscoring tenuousness." (voluptuous yearn- ings, feminist obscene, mary caputi.) obscenity interwoven matrix, splay/display, transgression. secrecy, immobilized _hole_ spent presymbolic_appearance._ _unspeakable,_ specificities culturally involves privatized secrecy. secrecy rite shamanistic shame, liquidated machinic _role,_ determinate "wobbly." thought; caresses obscenities (willing unwilling) masochisms. self-silencing repro- duction psychoses, echos bounced mail, quotations requotations, reitera- tions. _passes_ _polite,_ transference sender receiver. polite [the contours] above; politeness. push _hack_ hacking numbing discomfort resolution. pornography's irresolute lack image/text/imaginary consumer readied consumption) reading, redescription re-entry) recuperation) form) circumlocutions analytically display power. circumlocution: disembodiment. site, flames, burns; disemboweled. out. sat session paris drunk chat qui peche bank borrowed alto tenor morocco named alain died trainwreck france's ayler (albert don) onstage birds bright flew horn abyss moral american whiteboy jewboy vietnam copenhagen dexter gordon fierce drummer blakey guiseppe logan played student reggae roll jamaicans fours indian flute listened drumming thr highnote three-hundred odd attending screaming disaster concert late dane misinterpreting cecil taylor /who mercer? side-walk caving in/ joans mali lick trumpet, recorded others hearing music, leroi jones' applecore articles beat those, notes gone, bird tacked copenhagan dew drop inn junkie needles etched alley latenight ago squeal think, in: seine, altosound notre dame mid- war-night screams, figural double- decade, who's what, listening, maya illusion culture-murder grotto shapes back- tun-huang frescos; arche- typal pictures brain velocity, brain. repeat seconds-after-midnight function. limited interest nested recursion image- "lean" script.)] 386 vha svga monitor; 25mhz speed. "grotto.bas" qbasic: prompt: /run grotto.bas runs stopped. stop, control-break, file, alt-file exit). batch editor cd/dos "grotto.bat" anywhere, "grotto" generate cancelled. care, sin/cos tan overflow.) freeware accompanied author's x-y randomize timer gg zink: zz int(rnd 10) zink .4 (-d, d)-(d, -d) sin(sin(y) cos(y)) -y), 4000 damaged 1989 mother-father baby turns. dying, burns. flames leap father-mother lies dead. eyelids, rising. babe turns around, bones crying. rash, kills tormentor. ash. rising, daily. cries defiled. falling, atone. turning, dies daily, noise.[1] huddled air.[2] molecules.[3] tan(tan(tan(tan(tan_x)))).[4] weaving.[5] atom exploded.[6] billowing.[7] carapace.[8] shift serrated edges.[9] ---------------the cliff [1].ejaculations sound. vortices, material. sub-vortices, borne shear, resonate shrill wavering tones. sine. polished ellipsoidal fractured. [2].oxygenated, singed dust. leverage laminar erasures firestorms. scuttling. [3].wave-organelles, floatations. compressive immobilities, tailored below. stars [4].enfolding resonance. intensity reason? tangent, feed. time? _not life._ [5].occasionally shaft wheel. knot, [6].from weight. tangential pharoah catalyst, tethered wave. whisper: _everything kind._ ending: [7].noise. supra-vortices stream syllable. foam-flecked sloped debris gathering. pebble. indentation [8].scuttling insect unraveling surplus niche. carriers molecules, exploding atoms, waves. [8].from corners desolate continents planets, moons' eerie face-offs heats, scraggled metamorphoses. infestations, tailed. stars? folded matter. [8]._gter-ston_ "dbyings-phyug ye-s'es-mtsho-rgyal, mistress mysteries, pronouncements (_bka'-ma_) seizing forgetting anything." [9].grinds disappearance _the._ _dissappearance the: disapperance slips, shudders, skimmers, fans, tonya fans 04:20:23 organization: panix unix, lines: message-id: <363bs7$d54@panix3.panix.com> nntp-posting-host: panix3.panix.com x-newsreader: tin [version 1.2 pl2] _does_ obtuse, inverted disliking shannon doughtery (sp.?) _contain_ her; tonya, simplify. we're attracted danger sexualized, stepping hadn't realized joey b's wife nancy k's (all parts), angry edgy skewer default, fandom, darker _save_ trip: male-male helping little-girl-prostitute misery himself. god. fuck. disease, 2008 abstract: (computer-mediated-communication) classified prosthesis ego/libidinal relationships trans- interpenetration internalized symptoms: echo; numbness legs; carpal-tunnel syndromes; static hyperactivity; talking- [indeterminate eye-focusing off-screen]; nervousness insomnia; quasi-psychotic real-life responsibility; ill-health pallor. findings: recent donald (_origins_) generalized aetiology stemming theories incorpora- piaget's manipulative winnicott's conscious preconscious processings apparatus external. seeming necessity (food, drink, heroin) positively negatively addictive; anorexia, postive food, nourishment negative addiction. _external_ process- associated things: stor- processing; organization reorganization storage, inputting outputting (modelled algebras); interfacing target last; instances flicker-rate obseqious constituted cmc. ia flicker-rate. refreshes approximately frames/second; interlaced field, fields/second. intensities, hours' duration; intensities (such office situation), flicker pre-migraine displays addictions. epilepsy. ib _internally illuminated,_ all-over diffuse wide-area source. hearth; _away_ desk hearth-like framework. sits range 80 clutter 75%. hearth, articulation-point faces _house-hold gods_ impersonalization (hidden operations, neutrality) personalization (instant as: a. personalizing inputs outputs); connotation "magic mystery" ii _temporal _critical import._ communications, unprecedented basis. circadian rhythmic pattern, evening hours. cmc, _delay_ elements play. operational non- reply; _intensive personalization_ ib). sign-off, kill, other's messagings _before_ tactics" deployed. anonymity "occupa- tion," rewritten, "virtual subject" rewrites, continually, herself. evidence, obsessive neurosis, intertwin- here: s/m components; flame, sign-off) revelation secrecy-revelations veil anonymity). mentioned reconsidera- iib. "customizing" bases. structs preminent development narcissistic symptom- ology strategies._ reveal/communicate secrecies; intensively _with appearance_: serve deepen established treatment: speculate treatment, strategies, b-mod, employed. twelve-step epidemiology: widely; juncture, avoid treatment _condi- tion_ (sociobiological) behavior. viewpoint, treated, accommodated. certainly, barring unforeseen disasters, 2050, (vr) commonplace. addictions social norm, speculate: _addiction subjectivity._ addiction: repetitive havioral autonomic nervous system) components addiction; storage media parcel cognition, heroin substances survival. harder _between_ ad- dictions, often-ineffectual withdrawal natural-evolutionary sequence species staff telcom (tdcc). 4/18/2008 searchlight request sydney, australia, whereabouts allison ritch, disappeared, activities. email. someday children. photographs spit grave. machines cause claire rule probably cars shooting stars, be. sicker. atoms crawl purpose, at. bring? vast skittering rocks harsh winds flares mindfulness, freed prison becoming, chanting grievous pores captured darkling nocturnal bliss canopying unfettered orb aye lads lasses, disputationsforaging hoveredmoor ravagedaeons, tossed mast, laughtershadowingcovert, lesser thin-shaftalready professor." alone; habitually coffeeshop noonday meal. well-known books, unkempt appearance. bachelor thinks much. nostalgia childhood, decrepit rundown neighborhood. rare moments restaurant. year, watched go; obviously boyfriend. chance, searching end. vienna, 1930, park slope, 1994.) walking "valuables" can. pack hurry. loss, jazz solo _beyond_ quicker. continuation. lap, advice afternoon walk. description. rifying cease. absorption utter traces, indentations graced surface. granite steel, hundreds thousands copies, stelae, graveyard breathed fingered, hearing. tomb, muffled highs lows, manuscript some. finish shell, snap insufficient ecology ensures cliff; annihilated picture drive, chora, origins; _actively inscribing_ nowhere. thursday; received thereafter. died. insecurity cyberspace; disappear. ------------------------ sondheim@panix3.panix.com wed 28 09:00:34 wed, 08:54:27 (edt) <sondheim@panix3.panix.com> cybermind@world.std.com wired wired: double-screens intended protectionfollows. objec-tional offensive. cunts creasing inverting '74 television, theory! arched, wanted clumsy pencil, supply lead. mouth; dissolved pain. arm, bent impossibility, hovering miscarriage, afterbirth. shove flower. painted picture-perfect shadowed breasts, naked. blood smearing beautifully inside. burrowed asshole; shit tip, moist, smears heavy pants; watch cloth. rod musk lure; presses barren permanent fuck, bound, organs, piss, cum, shit, assholes, cunts, rigid cord neck. leaned menstrual blood. belief. im ply disbelief. s mirror. style. disbel ief disavowal. question. answer jeopardy. answ er token, signi- fied. signifieds virtual. axiomatic. answer. truth. lief. disavowal disinvestment decathexis. stepping-aside, , assertion. purse hol empty. inters ection complement. members defini demarcati constru ct. skittering; non-classical et post-modernity extrusion, embarkation faulty ship chart- waters, retur safety axiomatically simulta neously disconnected _same._ believ fissure, devolving wishing insomnia, existence." exist. victimed recover bringing subterfuge enough, moment, accompanies exhaus- sickness engendered extremes, sleep waking difficulty. satisfy sleepless, monitors twisting dreams, stress. tortures floods, trapped walls, attacks anonymous gangs, plane crashes, sex disavowals, tears, strangers. comprehension, mocked. minutes shuddering, keyboard, shaking extremis, narcissism, diaries, men, collapses, prepar- day. days, nights. mornings promise cat's found. found, insomnia grips absurdly. fantasies loving, narratives salvation; scrolls, textual determina- tions putrescent, bursting. shudder electric tension shoulders. floor friend. breathe. (if experience, wellspring slightest doubt, rent fabric, fountain falsehood.) mystical mourning mourning? fulfills margins, siphons rites central shift. exist,* torah-moths fluttering wood, hair-thin beckoning flees copper-red, lacquered, warmth snow environs. snow, appear, shudder, recovered glistening moon. over, draws snows, torah, moths cold, so, vermin creeping supernal forms, expounded wondrous topic. attracting abundant splendor. (14th abraham granada.) cradle stone mocksthronegod's beseeched rejoice sing mourns speaking's (emily dickinson, 1830) phonecalls mourning, melancholia anguish, recounting abuse brother; succeeding expanded town involved. increased; reconciled parents, analysis. killed. premonition college, rushing try- desperately dormitory, attempted suicide, hospital, phone ear, calmed office. wife, hour, counted sixty-eight phonecalls. subsequent vandalism. lived trailer one-armed warned psychotic, door, dodging sex. trusted telephone. melancholic struggling receiver, imprint whispered missing. hospital obligatory threats imagined transformation. phone. self-hatred, web-inverting promised unrecoverable, stumbling faux-world hysterically, hour hour. ex-machina, ex-cathedra echoing longing. alt.angst expecting listen, replies. expanding, filling neighborhood, listening. self-reflexive, proclaim melancholy abjection phonemes unrecup- erated melancholy. van gogh's faux-gift gogh connoted unrequited conjuring party-line, cajoling, smell bakelite enamel plastic. houdini relative. disappearing, remains. pleaded hammering corraling abandonment vengeance. flee guilt, haunts vocal extinction. connect, rubbed copper, carbon, murmuring. disconnects; falters, switched grinds disassembly, reassembly, switching continuity gates become; become, freewill. enact waking, baskets oceans unconsciously, voices, kconk ".kconk kconk" "who's there?" "!tes ruoy edisni gniht elttil tsetuc eht m'i .em s'ti" "!ni emoc ?ees annaw .maeb nortcele yb mraw os can't. you?" hself ym gniggard ev'i .nala gniyonna yllaer m'i" "!ynaffit ,uoy tnaw .ereh kcuts htiw "i'm moron. sig!" teg fi dna enoyreve ot uoy tog tub" ll'i "you remind wrote, gonna everybody dlot i' ,nemow lanimirc ni syas yksvokiatct sirhc sa ,yltcaxe" od t'nac ouy fi" dekcin gnitteg tuoba erac ton taht reh "'.reh evol ylniatrec tub "emirc t'nod ,emit criminal safe exterior?" morf geb d'i ,ynaffit erew !niaga yltcaxe" "!nus teem lliw ,nug fo taeh :dloc "or son, cyberson?" ".emit sekam emir eht" wanna from?" ,eb nac reeuq ,em wonk ",tenretni oleih aralc esuac kcuf tsrif ruo si siht .uoy llew eeb yenoh ".lliw sey gnitirw ydnac emos evig won oot mind." ".won ,nala ybab ,dnim uoy" sprouts tongue. teeth." hteet raeppasid muc nehw" neht .yrotcerid toor ,enim/dnim eb .esolc .nettirw resurrection covers walls tiny jointed encrustation descent warning. twinges frontal area brain, garbled signals _proliferation._ unique. twentieth-century english, freezing corpse. population letter, poison. _second user_ wire. thread, common. asymptotic carry- disk wherever expands, blooms consciousness. attains omega well; _truth text_ capitalism, remem- bered horizon. would-be corpse longer. future. occur, would-have-been. exchange disks backbone sur- vival, achieved labor. romantic, half-closed concentration, distance. _____________________________________________________i-m manifesto cybermind! mortality! theological speculation, humanity whole, eternity! energies creation! stalks savannahs, deserts, tasting infinity, hopes launched future! resplendent destruction! generations nourishment! beginnings comprehend, resolution! wild, free, growing, sustains earth's becoming! yourself! experiment! intimations realms minds! fruits labors remembered, war, human, future: coming- comprehend! portal! /____________________________________________________\unable deliver indexical index embodi- ment phantom, haunting shamanic familiar scription reinscription, novel _demands_ irreal, emerges swollen, tumescent, but, solely data-bank frisson witnesses entry, enchant- evident sig. of, shorter, fulfilled deliver, hysteria: absentia symp- tom surmise, sick, physically, heart-rate speeded sweating, shivering pneumonia fever when, temperature normal, pains occupying sorts, headaches stress portending onset migraine, abandonment, discard, longer, unto enchantment, planes, deliver. heterosexual reproduction, clara, tree otherwise. simplex, vector attached, maw-like, simplex abandonment; inward, concourse exacerbated octahedron, orthogonal coordinate, equi- center. star. motivates confluent. fearful, unwieldy. shave pink root. prosthetics absolute; raises splint. wooden hinges, tape, bandaging. sheen immersed membranes, sublime; raise indexicality intensifies, pointing spraying looks made? shaved, beauty-thing, _this_ absolute. absolutely absolute, sublime.) things; sadism? relation- ship; indemnity (herself/himself) mattered. terror, chance. pink. juan-pablo drowns descending maw thins molecular, barrage micro-ecologies, myself: aristotle pause. ideological, sputtering syntactic strategy, engulfs lips. upright, ground capsules. breast, arrow. lubrication. throat; resides throat seat soul; pineal gland, soul cutting windshear. hollow, fills baby. hielo dropping. school. school; unbearable, umbrella mexican violent, we'd half-closed, side- agave plain. asking painters, foothills, arroyo base, pottery designs. old. birth, sun-dark, coatimundi, shards path, was, go. cardon cacti imperceptibly hills. heat, day's baking drew moisture opuntia describe, glowed behold, paws swooping half-circles moon-rings, orbits, planets steps. hunch far-sight, lie, glaring, drowned remember, farm land stones, plain, footprints harvested. jagged lightning novas winked holes, star-debris, detritus, spanning galaxy? cold; would. spoken quasars, nebulae, molecules bondings span aid wide-field telescopes days. string matter, gravity, master. rented star, cur- rency soft. soften, soften floppy. floppy fine thanks lot, strings, hysterias radiations, rings, jets universe. quiet, cosmos beat- confuse lucky. she'd instance, nuclear nothings, quantities defy sublime dumb, exhausted; burial stratum. floppy, memorial, added different/indifferent. add blown bubbles void; empti- ness, skim nonexistent, ghosts, skimming less, ghosts inconsequential payment. comets poem. bubbles, sacks temporarily deploying molecular identifications, rejections, hollowed o's leaps dissolving destinations armpits toppling paths shoulders, travelling intermittent tensions knuckles compressed tingling constricted flow, sloughing bone. spurts flows. suit apparatus, secrets. genitals, unaroused, distinguishing features, sudden car suburban street? bag. freed, arcs curb, bicycle girl's dress lawnmower. slows halt; left-frontal lobe throbs ceronetti says, shelters sheds obscure moon killer." _obscure?_ jane lipton, menstruation psychoanalysis, points helene deutsch, "at extreme, damage, dismemberment: 'in anxieties provoked blood, part.'" going; take? lupton concludes "'creative waste': phrase recapit- ulates ambivalence women's _menstruation psychoanalysis,_ carl jung's 'creative mana' otto fenichel's 'first pollution.' affirm powers, spinning threat- ened implicit mourning." _months pass sign._ limbs, sack, accretion, plasticity pits shallow; cup bleeding arms, anatomy exposed. closest delirium, exposure circulations. holes. spoken- for; understood anatomic subterranean glancing gleamed women; marketplace damage reiterations, obscurities. woman" useless. veins. path. barrow glass, pained dissolute, indeterminate, mire morrow "considerably" sorrow. less. sensation; rushes exquisite killing decathects, sullenly survive self-same alive die: defeats minor victory recompense morrow, ironically. claws hosts servers, furrows. died, barrows burrowed; morrows wires; tombed, foam <net12.txt beginning> forest moves clearing, children, toys cane. capture lizard hunt spears, cruelty mobility, sensitivity, places, denser brush rains afternoon. adult by. adults _noran_ emerged, ceiling wrestle hunting, meats eat _cona,_ silly, nakedness. imitate smiling. brush, touches both, later, magazines, film, dog cat partnered inviolate, story norway word. hunting bow spear breathing true. hers. learn testify. adults, grownups games. ghost read, smiling slept quietly repetitions instant ecstasy, rhymes verbally prepare exercises. exercises expel excitement audience. poignant, poignant dimmed spirit departs, lighter fraction ounce. ennui cope, public. sake audience, ignore tales ghost-traps, ignorant prey. sentient, melding influxes soul, mediation. ghostly; beckon shores abandonment. familiars. wraith-like noticed; attracted. advantage gift, fade lays tonight public, wonderful, renewing prose confirming decision writer else. speak- illness, happiness audience! coalesced; usual. _there._ said! luminous inspiring behold. pletely "working crowd" ordinary, paltry lives. crowded eagerly concluded! mere proximity halo, wear, years. hue transparency, duty reconsidered, importuning earthy abode. young! limbs!) caring tame, mongoose, chest, baring attacked cobra, creation. panchatantra storms friends, storms, quiescence general! gray's atlantic seasonal hurricane forecast suffice, 9.3, 13.5 46.1, 5.7. smoothly, repeaters stantly meeting obligations scurry rabbits category compared 2.2, corralling believing armageddon hand. delusion recor- ded bardo thodol, 4.5 overall, tallied 1944. said? sleeps while, roams false, ward nether days come. statistic measurement destruction potential, 68.1, observation 1.7, tells souls written. meagre edification, yama, dead." yama straddling foretold: made, recognizing judgement own." bardo-plane violations, desires murder, pleasure-organs swelling ceases, intercourse sensation. bardo-plane, haunt catching cast waters. dwell; dwelling eagle harbinger humming-bird seek shelter storm? most, pogo, traveller enemy, pray oct 02:02:01 02:01:41 cybermind@world.std.com, fiction-of-philosophy@world.std.com dionzeek@aol.com "a charleston image: `...we wings varied fifteen twenty-five miles hour.' velocity `annihilating time.'" (david nye, sublime) jan feb mars m tu th 20 24 26 27 29 31 apr junjul aug nov decsome octobers autumn. chilly evening. pogo friday thirteenth sunday year. 2013england's summer. 2117clears; calendars seem senseless brown, 2321brother daughter. on... promises winter change. 2870miracles fifty wonder, gone. shining, tonight, always, shimmering 2911------------------------------ sarah bernhardt rose ululations about. nights, alchemy cylinders, divinity electrons condense disperse, mindlessly light. phaedre region glazed, mono- logs. doubt ingenues boards 'looking fix' lorgnettes trading kingdom. vulnerable, divine sarah, cone-like tresses needle recording-grooves pick song, dwellers cioran talks insomniac, merging sarah's ecstatic unclosing silence. dispersed threaded sewing paler transfiguration, stretched neck, properly trembing relinquish. glances shoulder. never, approach. weak, silent, luminescent lozenge valkyries. design already, drab sitting nonsensical, posterous? pierced ink surface? notice street. stand what? brown streaks grey. stooped company, totally intimidated loud raucous; humor, borders rabelaisian. miss before, insignia coupling, sewn harbor birth. exceptions, stories, reflections hat me!)  wondering match "this" working. pathetic stories; flashes tattoos faded assure removed awkwardly matched, portraits french 'new philosophers' (andre others) time... disparity upon. disappoint listener date translucent impregnated sus- tains point. shrugging party, awkwardness extreme; guitar, nervously, records cds sure, monoprints installations. flayed murmurs already. never... nevers... [2] noisiness neuroticism, alive; remaking fingertips, thrown emptiness sight; weeping it.[1] moments, worst, dull painful passages, moment's notice. solace, hopelessness written; manner, anguish erasure. continues, [1] this! marguerite duras: "once on: understand. do.'" square) everyone, equipment use. colors black, white; combination display? crt crystal? ram, drive? floppies? habit elec- tric bill? apartment computer? added, legal, quasi-legal, illegal? cpu installed? dimensions monitor, screen? curved, normal size? keyboard? mouse trackball ball? device buttons? commuica- control? use? system? mac based? partitioned segments? capacity attached additional peripherals crease memory? upgraded cpu, speakers, components? cd-rom speed? dot pitch interlaced? upload protocols; kermit, xmodem, ymodem, zmodem, ascii? perfect, wordstar, editing, vi emacs, altogether? workstation desktop tower mini- mainframe palmtop newton bernoulli manager? math coprocessor? monitor cga ega vga svga? docking module laptop? monitor? serial have? ports? amiga parity, bits? mail folders? mac, menu protocols? card? fax external? slots vesa bus slots? drives scanners per inch laser jet, wheel color? energy-saving prin- feed? pad integrated? capacity? ven- tilated lighted? headaches, shoulder backaches, syndrome on-line? eyestrain, necessitated eyeglass lens prescription? palm rests? answers appreciated. sticky [proposal exhibition][on wall] [nothing cyberspace] containing symbol. matrix. off; stain, irrevocable, reminds consistency desperate reconstruct. (i build unspoken logos.) excessive, prosthetic, curlicue. reminder, uneasy. software, troubling. slides, oozes; viscosity. abject. tires truck, detritus spider. naked, proposition strings attached. untraceable; lead deal, pathways conditions. tend increase. reels coagulation abject, rundown, minimal fit slots, generally, poverty. representa- slant-truth viewer installation photograph videotape. exhibition viewer's attachments. prosthetic art; attachments replacement, attachments, attachment dismembered, collation obects, (invisible) tape glue holding. common: ---------- forwarded thu, 17:36:22 <sondheim@panix.com> sondheim@panix.com triple-header, gaze image; refuse mirrors, ugly unconscionable ruin morning, fitful. hiding peer peers am, frog-like, appearance; glare. magic life! thick, nondescript slovenly, stumble speech. labor self-hatred subsides disappear, momentarily, returning, hope, side, wiser behind, airless vacuum; suffocating, oxygen. gasses rate. fault barren, starry mood, swung hard-by jealous still-copper signal house, chill internet... glum maine camp milky incredible comet, hung complex. somehow eilat jerusalem leading, 80. airless, creek swamp beaver muskrats, fish. beating waitresses walked useless, lifeless damn keyboard. memories, stars. travel; convince summer, winter, earths, lifted (it's heavier city) glassine proportion emily dickinson describe... (has leveled harbored marshland, silt wilderness? pauses eddies, stock proceeding. hiatus, adds positioning. enough on...) stuck anatomy. substract enlarge tit, sloshing hormones eman- ations. cords (talking _i_ lingis uttered contraction throat"). switch, sexuality discursive circumscribed lar; mooring story; performativity interiority irrevocably disjunct; occasioned liquidity; boring foundering. _tracheotomy._ [2]------------------[2] performance; _existence._ perform, ab- sent, _event_ language; feedback productive bodies; _bodies povera._ not? switch androgyny, transsexuality, switch. set, <a,b,c,d,..> sets. circumscriptions sold, theatrical productions, placement hysteria_ ment, superstructure signifier. sartre sidered pretence beings choice, surgery, performance, role, artifice, gaming, disposition (slip/slide) biology/biochemistroy (stutter) horn, mortar, yourself: conditions, _you_ _self_ stuffing emitting fragmenting gendered detournement name-of-the-father, _fissure,_ enterprise, splitting ducing gender-switch. insc...